shitty, tired, what’s next, vacation.
still feeling pretty tired. the first 2 days after the wedding catering, i felt like i had jetlag. like i was in a foreign country, awake when i should be asleep, not even sure what day it was.
monday i went back to work. tuesday i went for a run and was tired of all of the leftover food in my fridge. today i’m back to catering again for 2 days. this weekend we have another smaller event for 40 guests.
i must say that i’m super very grateful that i have a longer period of sobriety under my belt. cuz this kind of catering-induced fatigue, overwhelm, and ‘when will it ever end’ feeling i’m having about food preparation seems endless. I know i often feel like this mid-way through something large. I start to say negative things to myself like “this sucks, i’m never doing this again, i’m quitting right after this job.”
interesting, i never quit in the middle of the job. i know enough to finish before i can contemplate quitting. i seem to be capable of plugging through shitty bits, knowing that later i’ll feel better about everything.
i don’t know when i figured this out, this ability to delay making decisions while feeling shitty.
while feeling shitty, i just keep going. then of course, when it’s over, i say “whoa that was a lot of work, let’s have a vacation. what’s next?”
speaking of which. vacation. london. sunday october 13th. who wants to meet up for tea and cake?